Repressing Resentment. Marriage, Illness, and the Disturbing Experience of Care

• Autores: Juan Manuel Zaragoza Bernal
• Localización: On Resentment.: An Interdisciplinary Workshop on The History of Emotions, 26,27, 28 October, 2011 The Louis-Jeantet Auditorium, Geneva / coord. por Dolores Martín Moruno, Javier Moscoso Sarabia, Bernardino Fantini, 2011, pág. 25
• Idioma: español
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• Resumen

  • Marriage is about love, since the 19 th century onwards unless. If we ask people around us about the basis for a solid relationship, love will be at the top of the list. What we look for in a relationship is a dependable, sincere, and affectionate partner. Someone to love until death. Resentment is out of focus, here. It has nothing to do with "real" marriage. It has nothing to do with love.

    The romantic concept of love we could find in this definition of marriage is the source of deep tensions between partners and, more interesting, into the subject itself. Confronted with difficult situations, "love" could be replaced with others (negative) feelings: hate, anger, and, commonly, resentment. The arousal of these feelings could generate a crisis within marriage, leading to the failure of the relationship. Or, in other situations, it could generate an identity crisis in one of the members of the marriage, putting his/her inner self at risk.

    I will explore the difficult conciliation of love and resentment when one of the members of the marriage suffers a chronic disease. The narratives of the other part (the caregivers) show how this task is supposed to be the supreme proof of love, but at the same time, we can detect how resentment is repressed, as something that could damage the very identity of the caregiver. The case study will help to explore how the repression of resentment shapes the experience of disease, and is capital for the creation of the social identity of both: the "caregiver" and the sick.

    Arthur Conan Doyle will be my first case study. The story is well known. In 1892, just after a holydays in Switzerland, Louise Doyle (Arthur's wife) was diagnosed as having a severe case of tuberculosis. For the following fourteen years, Arthur cared of his wife. She had only been given three months to live in late 1893. If she lived for thirteen years more, it was because Arthur's care. This is a complex case, and we can approach it from different perspectives. Arthur Conan Doyle was a doctor, and he even attended a demonstration of a cure for tuberculosis by Professor Robert Koch in Berlin, in 1890. We know that he employed all his medical expertise in caring Louise. Care is not just about emotions, but also about technical skills. We can follow this path, but there are others we can explore too. Arthur was a rich man. Sherlock Holmes' adventures were a great success in late Victorian England, and Arthur became rich and famous. After Louise's disease, they travelled to Davos, Italy, and Egypt. He built a new house (Undershaw) in Surrey, where the weather was supposed to improve Louise's health. He bought the best medicines, and consulted with the best doctors. Care is an economical matter, and Conan Doyle had money enough to spend in Louise's treatments. But care is a social task, as well. The social self of the caregiver is at stake, and if he or she fails, the consequences could be the worst. This was Conan Doyle's case, also. He was the head of her family. Not only his wife and children, but her siblings and mother look at him for support. He had adopted this role from his childhood. He could not fail, his family and his own inner self were at risk.

    Technical skills, money, and social role. Care is about all that. And care is about emotions, of course, about love.

    We care of our loved ones, and we say their pain hurts us. We suffer with them, and we can cope with suffering because we love them. But, what happens when love fails? In 1897 Conan Doyle met Jean Leckie, and he fell in love with her. This relationship lasted until Louise's death. For the next ten years, Arthur tried to square his passion for Jean with his responsibility towards Louise. And here is where resentment (accompanied with selfdeception, frustration, and remorse) appeared.

    Through his letters and diaries, I will study this period of Arthur Conan Doyle's life, paying special attention to the emotional turmoil produced by this situation.